1. I have a short fuse with people whose banal statements are as boring as are their empty lives. It is challenging for me to have to listen politely to people who have nothing to say, and who would be well advised to buy a pipe, suck and puff on it, all the while nodding their head as others speak, saying nothing but looking wise, instead of opening their mouths and proving they are not. People who have nothing to declare should work at the airport Customs counter.

2. I hate having to listen to people read their speeches, usually with their glasses on the tip of their nose so that they can occasionally look over them to check that the audience has not yet left the room. Worse than this, of course, is the replacement of a conference or discourse by a “lecture”, in its etymological sense, a reading of Power-Point bullets on a screen. Such presenters should be shot. Sermons, a unique form of public monologue, will survive as long as people are prepared to tolerate them. Don’t bother to ask the congregation afterwards what the preacher said, or what difference it makes.

3. I – UM – really find it – EUH – painful to have to listen to – AAH – people whose mouth can’t – ER – keep up with their – HOW SHALL I PUT IT ? – their brain.

4. Padding, pathetic jokes, long-winded pointless anecdotes, clichés and meaningless phrases at the end of the day when all is said and done going forward when if the truth be told the rubber hits the road, drive me up the wall.

5. Twitter, Facebook and Blogs can, on occasion, serve a useful purpose, which only rarely includes the transmission of interesting information or insights. One does not need to be a psychoanalyst to recognize the motivation behind them. This last statement will be seen as a blatant self-shooting in the foot. Punch-lines are important. Finis coronat opus.

Advertisements